


Rejection

by Ailette



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Imported, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-24
Updated: 2010-06-24
Packaged: 2018-06-05 11:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6703111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailette/pseuds/Ailette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nino (about Ohno): “He’s usually a man who doesn’t reject at all.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rejection

“I like you.”

It was the way Nino said it. His eyes somewhere just to the left of Ohno’s ear and his voice more forceful than it needed to be – considering they were alone in the parking lot and there was absolutely no background noise – that had Ohno holding back the immediate “I like you, too,” that would usually follow. As it was, he only tilted his head a bit, unconsciously trying to get Nino’s eyes to focus directly on him, as he waited for an elaboration.

“Not like… you know, if you’d have to compare it…” Nino shook his head, stopping himself from babbling. He took a deep breath before starting anew, nose scrunched up as if in deep concentration. “I like you… in the ‘I want to go out with you’ way.”

Ohno continued to wait, but the younger man didn’t so much as move another muscle. He wasn’t even sure if Nino was still breathing. Maybe that was the reason his face slowly turned a vibrant shade of red; though Ohno had always believed that asphyxiation resulted in blue skin colour. The thought didn’t even get a chance to linger for very long before it was replaced by the realization that he didn’t really care for the reason, because it made Nino look incredibly cute.

For some reason, the red only deepened when he said so aloud, making Nino scowl and shuffle his feet.

“Look, if you’re just going to make fun of-”

“Alright,” Ohno said, not quite meaning to cut the other off, but not regretting it either.

Nino’s head shot up, their eyes properly meeting for the first time since they’d left the building. “Eh?”

It was Ohno’s turn to frown, beginning to think that maybe there was some noise here after all that made it difficult to talk. Maybe he just couldn’t hear it. 

“I said, ‘Alright’,” he repeated, speaking as slowly and clearly as he could. He did mumble sometimes, after all.

The next thing he knew, he had an armful of laughing Nino almost tackling him to the ground. 

“I heard you the first time, idiot.” 

***

It took exactly three and a half weeks until they found themselves in the parking lot again, with the same silence surrounding them. Only this time, it was Ohno who couldn’t trust his hearing. 

The last few weeks had been nice – nothing had really changed, which was probably one of the reasons it felt so natural. Nino still clung to him at every opportunity, Jun still pretended to be offended by their displays of affection and they still proclaimed their love for each other in concerts, interviews and TV shows. Just because they actually were dating didn’t mean things had to change – instead people would probably become suspicious if they stopped, Ohno had reasoned with himself.

The only thing that did change (beside the stolen kisses and occasional bit of _intentional_ groping in empty rooms between work) was Nino’s behaviour towards him. It wasn’t anything obvious, but he caught the difference immediately the next day they had seen each other after the younger man’s confession. It had been pretty late already; a night shoot for _Wink Up_ and Nino had walked into the green room, finishing last for the day. The second he closed the door behind him, it seemed like all the energy left in his body was suddenly drained. Ohno could have sworn that eye bags suddenly appeared on his exhausted looking face.  

It wasn’t a shock that Nino would be tired (Ohno knew for certain that he’d had some filming as early as six that morning), but rather that he _let it show_. Nino was dangerously good at not giving it away when he felt bad in any way; easily distracting everyone’s attention with some whining about the way the AD on that day had _totally_ had it in for him or making a sharp remark about Sho’s choice of tie for the day. All of Arashi had gotten good at reading the other members over the years, and they knew to keep an eye out for Nino at all times so they mostly spotted the signs of illness or fatigue before it became too bad. But this… was something completely new.

Acting on instinct alone, he’d quickly gotten up when Nino stumbled forward into his direction and almost fell into his arms. He could feel the sigh of relief against his cheek when Nino snuggled closer into him, sneaking his arms around him as well and just holding on.

“Finally done for today,” he’d said, and Ohno had only been capable of dumbly nodding. He wasn’t able to say later how long they’d stood there like that, embracing each other like one of them would break into pieces if the other let go.

It wasn’t a general change in Nino’s behaviour either – Ohno closely watched his new boyfriend from that moment on – instead he only let himself be vulnerable when he was alone with the older man; never when one of the others were still hanging around. Only when it was just the two of them would Nino admit to how much his neck hurt after having to remain in the impractical and highly uncomfortable costume for hours, only then would hedirectly seek out Ohno’s touch. Inmost cases, it really was just comfort and Ohno very much liked _this_ part of the development.

Whenever he reached out to touch Nino, be it to run a soothing hand down his back, to ruffle his hair or massage his neck, Nino not only stayed perfectly still and let it happen, but always inched closer, leaning into Ohno’s hand and closing his eyes in what looked like pure bliss. Ohno had always been a bit bothered by the way Nino harassed pretty much everyone and even got away with groping him in public while there seemed to be an unspoken rule about no one ever being allowed to return the favour. 

He’d enjoyed all those new things; all those new and less than perfect sides of Nino he’d never more than caught a glimpse of before and was now allowed to witness and protect from the rest of the world.

And then, there had been the obvious changes that would of course occur in a relationship. They had kissed before, but those always had been innocent pecks on cheek or mouth (all initiated by Nino, of course) and everyone in Arashi had been treated to those occasionally. It was hard to be mad at him for such a genuine gesture of affection after all, so even Jun had gotten used to it in the end. But actually _kissing_ Nino was an entirely different matter. 

The first time it had happened was after they had finally let go of each other in the dressing room, hands still linked like Nino wasn’t quite ready to let go of him yet. He’d stared at their entwined fingers with strange intensity before finally glancing up at Ohno, looking nervous and unsure and a lot younger than he actually was. Ohno, when he was honest with himself, had completely failed to read the situation and just smiled reassuringly, wanting to signal Nino that it was okay to show some weakness every now and then. He had been in for a surprise when Nino curtly nodded as if coming to a decision and leanedforward to press his lips to Ohno’s.

It had been just like one of the friendly pecks he was used to, except for the force and concentration behind it. It lasted a bit longer as well, until Nino finally pulled back. His face was just starting to turn red as he returned his gaze to their hands. 

“It would be nice, if you could react in some way, you know,” he said accusingly. “Like, I don’t know, tell me to stop it or that it’s too early, or- just… say something.”

“Ah, sorry,” Ohno said. “I must have dozed off for a bit.”

Nino let out a frustrated growl and not so gently connected his forehead with Ohno’s. “That’s really only something _you_ could say and actually mean it. Who else would doze off when their boyfriend tries to kiss them for the first time?”

Ohno shrugged, nonplussed as to whether he was supposed to reply to that or if it was a rhetorical question. Nino’s answer was another, gentler head bump.

“Are you going to react when I try again?”

The older man hummed his agreement, incapable of nodding with Nino right there. 

“Can you promise me that? Because the third time’s not always the charm and if this isn’t working out the way it should again, then that’s the last try I’m going to initiate,” Nino muttered darkly, apparently really not happy with Ohno’s lack of reaction before.

“I promise,” Ohno said solemnly and was rewarded with Nino angling his head upwards again. This time, he immediately opened up under Nino’s lips and took some initiative in letting his tongue slip into the younger man’s mouth, thoroughly exploring every inch of it he could reach. He very much enjoyed it as well, since Nino was everything but a passive kisser and he generally _liked_ kissing. When Nino eventually pulled back, he looked flushed and a bit out of breath, much to Ohno’s satisfaction.

“Better?” he asked innocently.

“Much,” Nino breathed out, and Ohno nodded in satisfaction.

Things went – as they always did – from there. In a matter of days they’d progressed to making out on the couch in the locked green room. And the next week he’d landed uncomfortably on the floor when the supposedly locked door suddenly swung open to reveal Aiba and apparently, Nino’s reflexes were much better than his, because he only noticed the other member of Arashi when he started to complain about hitting his arm on the table and sat up. Nino had already been coming up with an (unlikely) explanation for why he was shirtless. Shrugging, Ohno had just strolled over to his usual spot on the other couch and made a grab for one of his discarded fishing magazines on the table.

Looking at the speed of things up to this point, he had of course expected things to continue progressing at the same pace. But, for some reason, they never got past the kissing stage again after that incident. He’d figured Nino was maybe more shy than he let on or was beginning to realize the implications of what sleeping with Ohno would actually _mean_ in the act and let him set the boundaries. He wouldn’t be surprised if this would be Nino’s first time with a man, as opposed to himself. And even if he was a bit curious as to what sex with Nino would be like, he could also live on without it. 

So, all in all, things had slowed down a fair bit but as far as Ohno could tell, Nino had been satisfied. Which was why he had to ask for a repetition when Nino said those things in the parking lot now.

“I think we should break up,” Nino said again, a little louder than before. In direct contrast to their last time here, he wasn’t breaking eye contact with Ohno for a second.

Ohno blinked slowly, honestly surprised by this turn of events. But then, if Nino really hadn’t thought this through… 

“Alright,” Ohno said gently. He didn’t want Nino to get the impression that he was hurt or that their friendship couldn’t return to what it had been before this. His intentions didn’t seem to come across, however. Nino just stood there, staring at him and it wouldn’t have been unfitting for his jaw to drop open with his expression distorting like that.

Then, from one moment to the next, Nino completely blew up in his face. He stepped forward with fiery eyes, looking like he wanted nothing more than to punch his best friend.

“I can’t believe you!” he shouted, stabbing his finger into the other man’s chest as he was quickly closing the space between them. “That’s it? Really? ‘Alright’? You’re just saying ‘alright’? I’m telling you that we should break up and you – you – you say the fucking exact _same thing_ you did when I asked you to go out with me?”

Ohno involuntarily took a step back when Nino didn’t stop moving forward despite already being uncomfortably close. “You don’t even say – no, forget that. Of course you don’t _say_ anything about it. But you can’t even muster the interest to ask for a reason? You don’t even care enough to do that?”

Ohno felt himself getting irritated. Nino had no right to act this way; _he_ ’d made the decision after all. He’d decided to go out with Ohno and now he’d decided that he didn’t want to after all. Ohno was only being considerate and trying to make it easier for the younger man and if he wasn’t going to calm down soon, this would develop into a serious fight. 

“Fine,” he bit out with steely calm in his voice. “Why are you breaking up with me?”

Nino snorted, eyes quickly flickering to the side. The overwhelming anger seemed to suddenly seep out of him, like it was costing him too much strength to maintain that level of fury for any prolonged period of time. 

“ _That_. Because of that, exactly. You don’t give a damn about whether or not we’re going out or if I jump Sho’s bones in the next second – you just don’t _care_.” 

He paused, sounding more desperate than angry now and Ohno didn’t know to react to an accusation like that.  Nino apparently didn't expect him to either. He just shook his head and continued.

“You just went along with whatever I suggested. Just blindly agreeing to whatever anyone says as long as it doesn’t seem too troublesome to you.” Nino rubbed his hand over his eyes, no longer even trying to look at Ohno. “Like you always do, with everyone.”

For the first moment, Ohno was speechless. And what kind of retort could he possibly have for something like that? Something so uncomfortable, something that maybe… wasn’t entirely wrong.

Nino looked tired, like he could see Ohno’s thoughts clearly and didn’t have the energy left to fight anymore. He opened his mouth as if to add just one last thing, but was interrupted before he could even start speaking.

“Guys? What’re you doing out here in the middle of the night? You finished half an hour ago already,” Jun said, having left the building together with Sho, who was frowning at Nino. He was about to ask him what was going on, Ohno knew, and was almost thankful when Nino quickly shook his head and left with a curt wave in their general direction. 

They all left shortly after, not managing more than a few awkward words before parting. Ohno’s mind was too busy thinking about what Nino had said to concentrate on the other two.

The words echoing through his head paired with the open resignation in Nino’s eyes when Jun interrupted them kept him awake for the better part of the night.

***

The time that passed after their fight and the next time he saw Nino again was hell. Granted, it had only been four days until they were forced to see each other in another green room again for work. That didn’t make those four days any better for Ohno. He couldn’t focus on anything. He couldn’t even properly _not_ focus on anything and just relax; he always found his thoughts wandering back to Nino shouting at him in the parking lot. He wasn’t used to fighting with anyone, least of all Nino. There had always been a connection there that made it easy for them to understand each other, go out of the other’s way if needed and just huddle together somewhere the very next day. It had always made sense to him.

But now things were complicated. He didn’t usually get calls or mails from Nino on their days off, since they’d see each other a lot due to work anyway. Things could usually wait the few hours or days it sometimes took to be said. And yet, he found himself checking his cell phone regularly,even going so far as to take it with him on his fishing trip that Sunday (even though the captain saw and got mad at him for it). Of course, he could have contacted Nino as well. But he wouldn’t know what to say; he wasn’t usually good with expressing things in the first place, but after Nino’s accusation?

Only agreeing to date him because it didn’t seem troublesome.

Ohno wondered about that. He wasn’t sure why he’d agreed; it just had seemed to make sense to say yes at the time. But… he didn’t mind going back to how they were before, either. It had always been great, being friends with Nino. And they’d never had a fight when they were just friends.

As he was on his way along the corridor towards the green room, he couldn’t help but send a silent prayer heavenwards that they could still just go back to _being friends_. It was difficult to predict Nino’s behaviour a lot of the time, but with a situation like this? To Ohno it seemed equally likely that Nino would yell at him in front of the whole staff, ignore him completely or kiss him on the spot and apologize. 

Hesitant, he pushed the door open to find the other members already in various states of disarray in the room.

“Hey,” he greeted and made a small waving motion with his hand.

Jun mumbled something from the floor, where he was busy doing sit-ups with Aiba lazily lounging on their shared couch and only quickly flashing Ohno a grin before he continued to count them. The other couch was occupied by Nino’s sleeping form, face pressed firmly into the pillows as if he had somehow blocked his band mates’ noise like that (knowing him, this was a likely possibility). The only one who got up to properly greet him was Sho, who was smiling at the older man’s sleepy features.

“Don’t worry, I’ll wake him up so you can actually sit down as well,” he suggested and patted Ohno’s arm before stealthily making his way over to Nino.

Ohno still found it strange that Sho actually volunteered for waking Nino up – especially since the younger man had a habit of hitting everything that came close to him while sleeping. He also usually would harass whoever had woken him for the next few hours until he felt that justice had been served. 

“Nino,” Sho said and gently laid a hand on the younger man’s shoulder as he sat down next to him. Nino’s nose twitched, and there was an unintelligible grunt of dissatisfaction before he curled up on himself and inevitably moved closer to Sho that way.

Then again, Ohno thought as Sho started laughing quietly, Nino was incredibly cute while in the process of waking. Maybe it was worth the price for when he eventually would be awake enough to exact his revenge.

Meanwhile, Sho had proceeded to tickle Nino’s exposed side and got a kick to his leg for his troubles. Apparently with renewed motivation, he attacked again. Naturally, the whole thing ended with both of them tumbling to the floor about three minutes later.

“I hate you,” he heard Nino whining (he couldn’t actually see him anymore, since he had now taken refuge _under_ the couch and Sho had to try and coax him out again). Ohno frowned; it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to sit down right now. 

“Nino, you were blocking the couch so Satoshi-kun couldn’t sit down. I’m sure you can go right back to sleep if you take up just a little less space,” Sho was trying and had – apparently unconsciously – started to wiggle his fingers in order to get the other to come out. The ridiculous thing about it was that it worked, though.Nino’s small fingers quickly closed over Sho’s and he let himself be dragged out and up before collapsing back onto the couch – indeed only occupying half of it now.

Then, he turned to look at Ohno who was still standing stupidly in the middle of the room, doing nothing but staring. His heart almost stopped when Nino finally directed his attention towards him. The questions of how this would play out were starting to buzz through his head again –

And then instantly stopped when Nino grinned and patted the free space next to him. “Sit down already.I want to go back to sleep!”

Dumbfounded, Ohno did as he was told. It didn’t even take more than three seconds for Nino’s head to plop down on his shoulder. He was almost convinced that Nino had gone to sleep immediately but was proven wrong when the mop of unruly hair wiggled against his neck and Nino piped up again – only briefly disrupted by a yawn.

“Oh. And, Sho-chan?” he asked sweetly. “I’m still going to kill you later on.”

Sho only half-heartedly threw a pillow from where he had settled into his arm chair (missing by a mile and two minutes later getting up to retrieve it with a grumble). 

Things… were normal.

***

Things continued to be normal throughout the day, and it completely freaked Ohno out. At the point where Nino sat down in his lap to make the studio audience scream, he was half-way convinced that the fight in the parking lot had been a figment of his imagination. Which begged the question why his mind would fantasize about breaking up with Nino, but he’d never really paid attention to psychology. 

It was only when he absently slipped his arms around Nino’s waist and the younger man hastily jumped up (explaining to the audience that the perverted old man was apparently awake again) that he noticed the first difference from before.

He wasn’t allowed to touch Nino anymore.

The second difference he realized when they were on their way back to the green room for an hour long break before the next shooting would start. Nino wasn’t focusing on him anymore at all – he hadn’t realized it for the past few weeks, but the other man had almost entirely stopped randomly clinging to the other members during that time. It had been like all of Nino’s senses had been trained on him and him alone, like he didn’t need other people when he had Ohno right there. Now, he was holding hands with Sho and more or less skipping down the hallway (Sho had apparently already forgiven Nino for trying to poison him with Aiba’s experimental spaghetti earlier on),followed by Jun’s laughter at them for ‘being ridiculous’. He wasn't surprised to see the two of them stop and turn around. Nino then grabbed Jun's hand. It was normal, for them. 

It still couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in his stomach. 

It was a weird feeling, one he wasn’t used to at all and it only got worse throughout the day. It worsened when he saw Nino trying to charm some of the female staff into telling him where they’d gotten that Doraemon charm from. When Nino easily evaded the hand Ohno was trying to settle on his shoulder without even sparing him a glance. When Nino playfully messed up his hair and claimed that he would have done it to Jun, but the youngest member was wearing too many rings that day and then just walked away. When Nino was easily lifted up by Aiba and carried kicking and screaming towards the cafeteria when the taller one had found out that Nino hadn’t actually eaten anything for the day yet. 

But it got to the worst when he caught a brief glimpse of Nino’s exhausted face after the end of their last bit of work for the day before he snuggled into the very edge of the couch with his DS almost magically already in his hands and a grin on his face that would have looked natural not a month ago. But it was different now – Ohno had seen what lay behind that grin and it made him angry. It made him angry that Nino started to absently bicker with Jun over something the photographer had said when he knew that what Nino should be doing now was openly show his exhaustion and simultaneous relief at seeing Ohno’s face before – literally – falling into his arms. It made him angry that he couldn’t just quickly grab Nino’s hand and drag him away for a bit of privacy and a few quick kisses before they had to get back to the rest. 

It made him angry that ‘being friends’ wasn’t what it used to be for him anymore.

***

He waited for Nino to change back into his own clothes, leaning against the opposite wall and watching him closely. He’d had the time to figure things out while they were finishing up and while he still didn’t have the answer or solution to everything – there was something he knew he had to tell Nino now.

“Wanna go out for drinks?” Aiba suggested energetically, ignoring both the fact that they were all pretty tired and that they’d have an early day again tomorrow and wouldn’t be able to stay out for long anyway.

Sho was about to say something when Ohno quickly cut in. “Sorry. Me and Nino are already going somewhere today. We’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

He was aware that all eyes turned to him, but the ones he held were the only ones that mattered right now. “Right?” he asked quietly and waited for Nino to slowly nod, obviously not knowing what this was about but not protesting when Ohno took his elbow in his hand and proceeded to lead him outside. Not towards the parking lot this time. It felt like it would bring bad luck.

To his surprise, Nino not only didn't protest, but he didn’t even complain or ask where they were headed. Which was just as well, since Ohno wasn’t too sure himself until they reached a secluded backyard, probably of some use to the studio during the day but now completely deserted. There were no windows or places for people to hide and overhear them. It was perfect. He stopped and turned his attention to the silent man coming to a hesitant halt slightly behind him.

There wasn’t a whole lot of light here, but it was still enough for him to make out Nino’s features,the way his eyes were quickly flitting from one point to the next but never coming close to meeting Ohno’s. The darkness was painting long shadows beneath them, mocking Ohno with the picture of an ‘openly’ tired Nino.

When Nino didn’t make a move to say anything, only removing his arm from Ohno’s grip and continuing to not-stare at him, Ohno sighed and awkwardly rubbed his nose. The dramatic exit had worked out well, but he was at a bit of a loss as to how to proceed now that he’d reached his destination. He wasn’t really the planning-ahead type, preferring to act on instinct based on the situation he would find himself in. Maybe it was better to continue with that way. He reached out his hand to softly stroke Nino’s cheek, not quite surprised when Nino flinched and took a step away from him, eyes wide.

“What do you want?” he asked and sounded defensive. It was the starting signal Ohno had needed.

“I want to touch you again,” he said quietly, voice absolutely serious and not allowing Nino to make light of that statement. The younger man had to know that he meant it. He might not fix anything with what he was about to say, but he needed Nino to _understand_. “I want to be allowed to touch you again. To see you again. All of you,like before.”

He could see the way Nino’s face transformed into a disappointed frown. “Just because I’m convenient--”

“You said I only agreed to go out with you because I’m too lazy to reject anything.” He rarely ever spoke up, never interrupted anyone. And it was almost impossible to talk faster than Nino. It was almost amusing, the way Nino’s eyes widened further when he spoke so easily over him. 

“Maybe you’re right. I don’t think too much about some things, or, just, not enough. Sometimes about important things. I agree because it seems too inconvenient not to or it would be a bother to think about what else to do. Of alternatives or the like.” He took a deep breath. “So, yeah. I often just agree without thinking. But only when it comes to the important things I love, like food, or Arashi or you.”

“That’s just stupid,” Nino blurted out and then stopped dead, mouth dropping open when he processed completely what the older man had just said. Ohno noted with interest how first Nino’s ears turned red and then slowly his cheeks started burning as well, so much so that he could even see it in the little light they had. The younger man was gaping at him, looking like an idiot and Ohno couldn’t be happier that he was not only allowed to see that unguarded expression, but also that he wasn’t stopped when he leaned forward to kiss the lips of the man it belonged to moments later. He didn’t have to think about this anymore. It was right again.

They were right again.  

**Author's Note:**

> (Originally posted at http://ailette.livejournal.com/53862.html)  
> Beta: astrangerenters  
> A/N: This was the first Plotbunny that bit me after getting into Arashi. It was inspired by something Nino said - which is why his quote serves as summary this time. x3


End file.
